BORDERLINE ALBURY WODONGA

Cr Gould must shudder at the thought of it - that's the trouble when you're a teetotaller, you remember everything - well almost everything. Not like the self-inflicted shudders when the vague recollections come drifting back with the dry mouth and nausea that is the lot of those suffering from having the one too many.

By all accounts that was the situation those suffering sods found themselves that morning not so long back after a knees-up in the cellars of the Simon Gilbert Winery, Mudgee, Northern New South Wales. The annual New South Wales Local Government Conference can be an exhausting affair. What better way to wind up the annual blue-ribbon junket of the local government calendar in NSW than a few drinks and a good nosh-up.

So, let the evening begin.

Convivial and relaxed was the atmosphere that evening.

So much so that at some stage in the merrymaking and backslapping Cr Amanda Duncan-Strelec, free from the glances of the hoi-polloi and the wagging tongues of intrigue and damnation back home reaffirmed her commitment to making a night of it by removing her bra and then presenting it to Cr Porter for safekeeping. Cr Porter discretely as one could be considering the circumstances, slipped it into his pocket. One can only hope when he took to the dance floor he made sure a strap or whatever didn't accidentally show and cause his dancing partner a moments hesitation during the Pride of Erin as she tried to make sense of it all. It's certainly more embarrassing than gravy stains on your tie.

One could also only hope for Cr Porter's sake that he remembered to return the garment to it's owner. An item of clothing of this nature unintentionally discovered a week or so later by a spouse could not be easily explained. I should think a forgiving spouse would be a prerequisite if such a situation was to occur. Not to mention an ability to handle the questions that would follow about what goes on at the annual New South Wales Local Government Conference.

Of course even if you answered truthfully and to the best of your ability the damage had been done.

Who could provide a reliable memory would no doubt be a matter of debate among the three or four hundred delegates as they made their way back to their respective municipalities the following afternoon. Only those habitual types who prefer to being up fresh and about would have the complete picture - ad nauseum. No doubt Cr Gould had seen it all before, all the sore heads, and noted it mentally with demure disdain. Even if you kept a written diary you don't write about these type of events. No doubt she would have come to the conclusion that in her 30 odd years in council, nothing much surprised her. Even Cr Gould would have been thankful for the freely circulated advice (or was it a dictum) that resounded through the bars and bedrooms of Mudgee during the 3 day conference. What happens here stops here…repeat...

So late last year when Cr Duncan-Strelec was in a shop in Dean Street and made another reckless display of impulsiveness it didn't come as any surprise to the many aware of her sometimes erratic behaviour; except of course to the startled proprietor. Cr Duncan-Strelec had seemingly objected to the content of a poster the owners had chosen to display in their shop. After an outburst of censorial outrage she ripped it down and marched out of the store muttering about the indignity of it all. That was as far as it went. The mayor Cr Baker eventually told of the incident, made a few enquires. Not surprising however there was no further investigation of the matter. Like other things that might possibly embarrass the Albury City Council it was buried beneath the required depth of institutional self-preservation much favoured by local government in NSW.

Then there is the contentious issue of Cr Duncan-Strelec's position as Chairman of the Services and Infrastructure Committee. It is undoubtedly the most powerful committee within the Albury City Council and privy to the most sensitive and confidential information concerning the present and future development of Albury. Cr Duncan-Strelec however is a land developer at Hamilton Valley. To any fair minded person this is obviously a conflict of interest. While we are not suggesting that Cr Duncan-Strelec has been on the fiddle, Albury's recent history (God only knows what they got up to before living memory) is littered with monuments to the duplicity and greed of councillors (and alderman as they were then known) who have profited by the inside information they've been privy to.

It has long been written into folklore in Albury that when the Albury City Council were told in confidence in the 50's or early 60's that Parkinson Street had been acquired by the then New South Wales Department of Main Roads for proposed new Hume Highway (they didn't have freeways and bypasses then) half the council were up at the crack of dawn the next morning looking for a commercial advantage. Perhaps it was a bit more obvious then, when being elected to Albury City Council also came with the privilege of an almost unfettered eye to the main chance.

Now motives are less defined but nevertheless power and influence figure prominently, power and influence mainly of their own imagination. However to play the game few are sufficiently capable of climbing to the top of the pile, some are lucky when it falls into their lap because of a sudden bout of pragmatism. Cr Duncan-Strelec knows how to play the game well. Nothing falls into her lap, nothing perhaps other than an errant dancer lurching out of control while attempting the Kangaroo Hop, a peculiarly Antipodean version of the jive much favoured in municipal circles.

The result is the Amanda clique virtually runs Albury. It is allowed to exist because a great many of her fellow councillors are either lethargic or unwilling to do what they were elected to do and that is upholding the good governance of Albury. Cr Duncan-Strelec and her right-hand men the Deputy Mayor, Cr Van de Ven along with the General Manager, Les Tomich, virtually control the agenda of Albury City Council. Most of the other councillors just go along for the ride. Like Little Bo Peep and her charges, self-interest means that most councillors are reluctant to stray too far from the flock. Just ask how many questions they've asked in the in the last 12 months. If most of them run out of fingers before answering they're probably not telling the truth.

When you have a weak almost dysfunctional council the opportunities are open to exploit the situation, and as the councillors wallow in inertia Cr Duncan-Strelec and her chosen few can pursue their vision with the minimum of fuss or inquiry from the councillors of Albury City.

How do they do it?

Set up by Cr Frauenfelder the principle instrument in ensuring dominion over all and sundry is the Strategic Response Group, the Gatehouse through which all important matters must pass. Comprising the Mayor, Cr Baker, the Deputy Mayor, Cr Van de Ven Cr Porter, Cr Duncan Strelec and the general manager Les Tomich. These are the people being entrusted with the vision but there are certain privileges with such a position especially when Cr Duncan-Strelec and Mr Tomich annoint themselves as the grand puppet masters of the outfit. Within this masked, inner sanctum controlling the agenda any criticism is repelled by their lawyers who literally a stone's throw away, have done nicely defending the interests of the status quo, and presumably will continue to do so while there's still a few bob in the council kitty.

Even when Cr Duncan-Strelec lost the numbers and the mayorship to Cr Baker she still had ample opportunity to make a few deals and keep the status quo relatively intact. Her faction, consisting of Councillors Van de Ven, Porter, Mathews, together with Baker took all the committee positions; Cr Duncan-Strelec called it the new political reality when in fact it was simply payback time. This act of retribution allowed Cr Duncan-Strelec to still be the puppet master of both the vision and the power while leaving Cr Baker to enjoy the twilight of his councillorship to his own devices.

The Albury City Council have learnt nothing since the last general manager left (more of that in a later issue). The capacity of the present council to engage the people of Albury has not only failed but seems to be generally discouraged. Passing the buck has become the most favoured reaction. If anything goes wrong the error is inevitably attributed to a 'junior officer' or a computer glitch. Those who oppose council decisions are ostracised and condemned. The Albury City Council can do no wrong. When we might ask has the Council ever admitted making a mistake…? Then again when Albury City Council have perfected the use of litigation what chance does the ordinary individual have in having his or her voice being heard? What about the Walsh Street development? It was nothing more than a cynical public relations exercise. In legal circles it was well known their position was unwinnable in the Land and Environment Court. They simply thought they could overwhelm the developer with their bottomless pit of ratepayers' money and subsequently bring him to his knees. Cr Duncan-Strelec wasn't much bothered about it all and told anyone who was prepared to listen, and who ultimately had to foot the $60,000 bill, to 'move on'. Move on indeed.

Of course the Gang of 5 have to contend with the Gang of 4, Councillors Frauenfelder, Glachan, Gould and Wareham. At the council meeting when Cr Duncen-Strelec was replaced by Cr Baker she was scathing in her attack on Cr Frauenfelder when he asked why they had been denied any positions on the forty or so committees that were being voted on that night. She decried their moans by announcing that this was the new 'political reality' and haughtily declared that the spoils of power were up for grabs and understandably they wanted the lot. She was not very apologetic at all was dear Amanda, seething that evening with all the vitriol she could muster.

One of the criticisms of the Gang of 4 has been the accusation that most of them belong to the Liberal Party, however their voting suggest that party politics had little to do with individual voting patterns. The factions of the present council have more to do with the machinations of personality and the pursuit of power more than anything else. However the nature of such alliances are fickle indeed and are prone to self-destruct at a moments notice. They are also a deeply cynical exercise in manipulation exclusiveness.

Leslie James Colquhoun died in 1964. He had built LJ Colquhoun and Sons into one of Albury's most respected real estate agencies. In his will he specified that the 6 members of the family share equally in the legacy he had bequeathed them. Now 30 years later LJ Colquhoun's last will and testimony will finally come before the Equity Division of the Supreme Court of NSW for resolution in what has become a bitter and protracted legal battle.

The jewel in the crown of the Colquhoun estate was a large parcel of land, the Airport Industrial Estate comprising over 90 separate blocks of land.

In 2006, non executor beneficiaries of the family, Carolyn, David and Ian commenced proceedings in the Equity Division of the Supreme Court against their brothers Paul and John who were executors of the will. They alleged the executors had mishandled the administration of the estate and had used assets from the estate as collateral to purchase other properties. The statement of claim also details numerous breaches of duty and failures to account and that the executors had repeatedly failed to address the entitlements of the beneficiaries as they were obliged to do as executors and trustees. The other brother Peter Colquhoun who died in 2000 was also a executor.

It is believed that over a period of some 30 years this portfolio of properties acquired by Paul and John has amassed a value believed to be somewhere between $50 to $100 million dollars. They include the entire Coles Complex at North Albury, a half interest in the old wool stores currently being leased by the Australian Taxation Office and Centrelink, the Bunnings building, the Development Corporation building in Macaulay Street and other properties.

Carolyn Colquhoun, in particular, in her affidavit believes she has has been given short thrift by the executors. After going over to Europe to marry an Australian man things seemed to go tragically wrong. The marriage did not proceed, and her mother who went over to attend the wedding died in London.

On arrival back home Carolyn was given a car an Alfasud by her brothers Paul and John 'wrapped in a bow tie'. Her brothers 'pleasant surprise' however, soured when later she found out that the car was bought on hire purchaseand the repayments debited as income received from her father's estate.

The transaction had been negotiated by Paul and John as executors of the estate entirely without her knowledge.

Like Carolyn, David and Ian have also denied that over the years they received various amounts of money issued by the estates accountants and believe they were book entries. Despite repeated requests for the executors to come clean on the state of affairs of the estate, little detail was forthcoming and the 'discrepancies' continued. The disposal of the land at the Airport Industrial Estate continued and although the beneficiaries received some disbursements from the sale of the property these payments did not reflect the true value that the trustees were receiving for the land.

Carolyn also alleges in 1982 she received a tax assessment which was based on an amount totally disproportionate to her actual income. Apparently the amounts were advanced by the estate and then lent back to the estate without her knowledge. She claims that an itemised profit and loss statement for the year stated that the Falls Creek restaurant, The Oversnow, she operated had made a net profit of $7,105. The amended assessment issued by the Tax Office said her taxable income was $50,000 a difference of close to $43,000 which she claims she never received.

She then came to an arrangement with the Tax Office and eventually paid her liabilities including substantial penalties in full. Later she was reimbursed some of that amount but later discovered that this apparent largesse had been debited from the estate.

The case goes to trial later this year and is expected be an extremely expensive piece of litigation with estimates of the costs somewhere near a quarter of a million dollars.

Albury City Council's purchase of St Mathew's Parish Centre for $2 million to enlarge the open space of QEII Square as part of the Albury Cultural Precinct is a scandalous misuse of ratepayers' money a developer has told Borderline. The developer who preferred that his name not be mentioned 'for fear of retribution' by Albury City Council was scathing in his condemnation of the whole process.

"This cultural precinct is nothing more than a motley collection of poorly designed, underutilised buildings, with a fountain that hasn't worked for over a decade or more. Now they want to enlarge the grassed area for no reason other than to leave another lasting legacy to an ill-founded scheme, but it should ensure bumper crowds at the annual Carols by Candlelight," he said.

"When The Council offered the church a couple of million for it they did so without the slightest consideration for a proper impartial evaluation and when pressed for one they got Phill Cosgrave, the retired Albury City Council valuer of some thirty years out of retirement to give an evaluation."

"Needless to say Mr Cosgrave would have been under some pressure to appropriate his evaluation within a dollar or two of the two million dollars offered, after all you have to be a bit subtle when you're squandering ratepayers' money in such a reckless fashion," he said.

"The building has very limited public access and people I have spoken to are hard pressed to value the land and building over a million at the most, but I'm not denying the parishioners of St Mathews their good luck."

"How the Albury City Council justifies spending two million dollars and added costs of demolition, and how they came to such a sum suggests that the parishioners of St Mathews were in receipt of divine intercession. It's either that or they picked a figure out of the air which is the most probable scenario."

When pressed about his reluctance to have his name published the developer was equally scathing in his condemnation of the Albury City Council.

"You know that ad on television with the elephant that didn't forget after all those years, but the elephant remembered, damn oath it did… Well that's like the Albury City Council operates. It's just a matter of where and when the Council retaliates and in the present climate I don't think I'll have long to wait - besides if you want a good example of retribution go and ask the Albury Police about the couple of car parks they wanted?"

The building is expected to be demolished towards the end of the year. The old library, demolished last year as part of the project, was itself the subject of controversy when the chosen tender had not considered an asbestos audit or removal as part of their price. When asbestos was found the demolition was retendered. Albury Demolitions which had experience in asbestos removal replaced the original tender Murphy Bros with an additional cost of $60,000.

"How much did you lose darling - damn things?"
"About two hundred dollars… what about you dear?"
"About ninety…maybe a hundred - bloody poker machines!"
"Still we haven't done that bad - I've been thinking."
"Thinking about what dear?"
"Like how much would a plate of spring rolls and dims sims cost at an expensive Chinese restaurant when we went to that place in Melbourne, the Flower Drum…?"
"Dim sims - I can't see any dim sims."
"Oh, there they are under the lasagne."
"I suppose we wouldn't have got much change out of thirty dollars now that you've mentioned it."
"Well we've saved almost thirty dollars - same with your roast lamb."
"Roast lamb- I don't remember putting any roast lamb on my plate."
"I can see a bit sticking out from here under the fish of the day."
"Oh right- well if you went to Maxims in Paris you'd be up for sixty or seventy dollars - more."
"That's a hundred dollars we've saved."
"And see this here under the coleslaw - roast beef!'
"If you went to Claridge's in London you'd be up for fifty quid!"
"Let's say two dollars to the quid that's another hundred we've saved.'
"And those curried prawns if you went a good Indian restaurant forty!"
"What about the veal escalopes - under the Caesar salad?'
"Fifty."
"I don't know what this is but it looks expensive."
"You've got me there it looks like some casserole dish…thirty ."
"I suppose the French fries and Greek salad on top here wouldn't be worth much?"
"Ten!"
"The tuna mornay?"
"Twenty-five!"
"What about this bit of lettuce?"
"Another ten!"
"And the pickled onions I didn't see any pickled onions?"
"Oh I bring them from home - for luck - still it adds up… about two dollars fifty."
"All the rest of it is a bit mixed up - I think I overdid it with the gravy."
"Personally dear I wouldn't put gravy on the calamari rings - tartare sauce"
"You're so right darling - what's that on the roast potatoes?"
"I'm not quite sure - it's for cosmetic purposes."
"Cosmetic purposes darling…?'
"To keep them from rolling off the chicken schnitzel - then there's the drinks, how many have you had dear?"
"Three gin and tonics - and you darling?"
"About ten schooners dear - if you went to some fancy bar in Hawaii you'd be up for twenty apiece."
"Hawaii…Two hundred and sixty."
"Plus tips!"
"Three hundred -Darling do you realise we've actually saved money coming here!"
"I know, about seven or eight hundred."
"I suppose we can afford to lose another hundred or so after all the evening hasn't cost us a cent."
"It's great isn't it dear, would you like another gin and tonic, I think I'll get a jug to celebrate."

Residents of Albury and Wodonga old enough to remember Homicide or Division 4 or Matlock and Cop Shop will remember that times were a lot simpler then. For a start there were only a couple of stations, Channel 4 (Prime) and the ABC. Some installed long masts to pick up Shepparton for an extra channel although the reception was a bit snowy. There was no 24/7 transmission either, by midnight the station had ceased transmission. This in itself became a nightly ritual. First there was the Epilogue, featuring a short religious tract from a pious sounding gentleman followed by a military band playing God Save the Queen. Then followed an ear piercing high-pitched noise which announced the end to the day's proceedings. The tired and drunk alike rose to their feet at this intrusion while disappointed insomniacs inevitably went to their beds cursing the night.

In Australia's first crime television seriesbHomicide, the crime usually was over in the first few minutes, there was a matter-of-fact rite about them. So when a disgruntled husband throws a toaster into his unsuspecting wife's bath and then (fade) is seen morosely feeding her clothes into a smouldering 44 gallon drum we know it's only a matter of time before he's brought to account. There were no red herrings, complicated plots. No environmental controls on 'burning off' either. Come to think of it he might as well have thrown his wife in as well but that would have been a bit untidy. The blood and guts, that is almost nightly fare today, was yet to confront the publics' imagination. Human interaction was kept to the minimum, they didn't worry too much about an intricate motive, and the minimalist dialogue did not contribute any more than ten minutes of the show. Even then it never taxed one's powers of comprehension.

    Inspector Jack Connolly: "Did he do it Rex?"
    Detective Rex Fraser:     "Yes Sir."
    Inspector Jack Connolly: "Well you better bring him in."
    Detective Rex Fraser:     "His brother 'Shotgun' Wilson will be                                         there - he just got out of Pentridge                                 this morning."
    Inspector Jack Connolly: "Well you'd better take Frank then and
                                          bring him in too."
    Detective Rex Fraser:      "You think he did that bank job this
                                          morning sir?
    Inspector Jack Connolly: "Yes my oath."

Then they started to add more human interest to the stories and we had shows such as Bluey, starring Lucky Grills who drank a lot of beer and whose unorthodox approach to policing would no doubt have had him before the Police Integrity Commission (NSW) or their respective state counterparts before you could dial 000. Given Lucky Grills physical condition I always wondered why he never ended on the marble slab himself from the various ailments that come from getting an excessively large potbelly that Det. Sgt. Bluey Hills as he was called had to carry around with him on and off the camera. Not to mention the cigarettes. I used to like Det. Sgt. Bluey Hills, the quintessential knockabout Aussie, especially when he was giving chase to a fleet footed criminal. He looked like some hyperactive garden gnome and he always ran with his gun pointing towards the sky. I suppose shooting someone in the back was not the Australian way. I always suspected that every couple of yards they would stop filming so he could catch his breath and have a cigarette before continuing the chase.

Meanwhile their British counterparts seemed to take a more understated approach, which was to give way to what is called the police procedural, a subgenre of the mystery story this developed into rather knotty plots and a selection of villains to point the finger at. Police shows become more of a whodunit affair where the whole family (remember when the whole family watched TV together) could show their sleuthing abilities off. The numerous subtexts kept everyone busy. Shows such as Midsomer Murders, The Sweeney (very subtle) and the likes of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, in which an upper-class chap with whose penetrating eyes seemed to suggest an unfathomable knowledge of the upper-classes criminal mind, have become increasingly popular for those who like their killing and sleuthing tastefully done. You could say people have become more sophisticated as well as bloodthirsty. Now when you watch a police show it's also almost de rigeur to have multiple killings. Even the sedate village of Midsomer has become what can only be described as a killing field where 2 or 3 people are slaughtered on a weekly basis.

There are exceptions such as The Bill. If ever there was a cast of miscreants that could fit into a police station you have it at Sun Hill, and I'm not talking about the villains either. Then there's the villains, sneering types mainly, but they're always broken, left dumbfounded by some evidence. by an inquisitive smart-arsed constable who has been making a number of inquiries on the side. Only the steady hand and mind of stalwart Detective Chief Inspector Jack Meadows assures. That's not to say he's not without his own failings having impregnated a prostitute in a moment of lustful abandonment. All right then he didn't know she was a prostitute. This unexpected revelation only added more pathos to the situation as the blissful domestic life he had envisaged disintegrated into acrimony when she eventually showed her true colours.

The Americans on the other hand considered that attention span was an important consideration in such entertainment. That and making the sets as close to post apocalyptic grunge as you could possibly make it. Dragnet ensured that you got a running commentary as well for those who needed things explained. There was a brief interlude with subtlety with shows like Hill Street Blues, but generally the Americans show a preference for shows like Law and Order and S.W.A.T in which if the villain is not taken out in the course of the hour, will almost end up behind bars like 1 in 142 of the American population. When you're putting away so many criminals you haven't any room for subtlety or irony. They also pioneered the bastard cop situation, the police officer who is thoroughly disliked by everyone but grudgingly respected nevertheless. Occasionally he will move you to tears when he comforts a dying orphan he met in some seedy sidewalk who is in desperate need of surgery for a life threatening illness. Then that evening, after he's had a skinful at the local bar he explains to the bartender that his buddy was gunned down earlier that morning by a crack dealing psychopathic killer you can sympathise with him. He's just a softy you'd say approvingly. That is until the following week when he loses it and kicks some godforsaken harmless lowlife in the testicles .

That's the good thing about Police TV choices. Whether you're a liberal or conservative, you can find some particular show that will be fully sympathetic to your particular views on law and order. Then again, to be honest, with all this choice we're all beginning to show signs of despondence as the same idea is regurgitated over and over again. Even reality type programs seem a bit tedious after a while. After a while they both seem to metamorphose into a reality of all their own.

Why not go live reality. That's where the future lies.

Why not just hook up the proposed CCTV cameras proposed for Dean Street to the lounge room. People love to ham it up for the cameras especially when they've had a good six or seven hours solid drinking. It's where television is surely heading. The complete interactive experience is to be had for the cost of a few cameras and a bit of police overtime.

What we need is a community police series with real people, real blood, real vomit. Watch as the forces of light battle the forces of darkness. And, if things get out of control we can press the legislators that under certain circumstances the citizens of Albury can rush down to Dean street and take matters into their own hands.

If you have followed the evolution of television cop shows over the last 20 or 30 years you will probably agree that it is an inevitable and welcome diversion from the predictable fare we have become used to. It would also bring back the local into local content and surely that's a good thing.

"I know it's sad son, when I had to tell your sister she had to go the other night when... but son you're a Collingwood supporter, your mother was a Collingwood supporter, your sister was a Collingwood supporter, your uncle and aunties were Collingwood supporters. Your grandfather - remember him - a real Collingwood man through and through. And you know son where I work…well there's Harry, Bill, Johnny and Tom, they're all Collinwood supporters, then in Accounts there's Lizzy, Betty and Sonia… there's Dave, and Ray and Chris. Did you know Chris has got a huge concrete Magpie on his front lawn - great Collingwood supporter his old man put his foot through the TV when Collingwood lost to St Kilda in 66. I forget what his name was - that's right he was called Chris too. Did you meet anyone at school today that barracks for Collingwood son?"

"No dad."

"Remember that bloke came around the other week, Sam...well he was telling me during our lunchbreak that apparently his brother's sister in-law knows…played half back… I think it was '89 - or was it '92...?"

"Not sure dad."

"I'm pretty sure the bloke who just started in sales - apparently he knew him his brother... he was wearing a beany, a black and white beany could only mean one thing couldn't it, true Collingwood supporters. Do you know how many Collingwood supporters there are in the world - have a guess son."

"I don't know dad."

"Millions. You know your Uncle Ross, he told me that there could be over a hundred million in China alone. Just think of it that would be a thousand MCG's full of Collingwood supporters, you know he was telling me he once met - what's-his-name that played full forward in I think it was '75… he told me he went over to Russia and they were all Collingwood supporters even in Siberia...makes you think doesn't it?"

"Yes Dad."

And do you know what …um - had a crook knee…I know it was before your time - well you know that great painter Picasso… well he was a Collingwood supporter - Errol Flynn was another one… Marilyn Monroe… Charlton Heston- Pope John Paul, The Beatles, The Doors, Little Pattie. Einstein, Liberace - did you know that son? "

"No I didn't dad."

Elizabeth Taylor, The Rolling Stones... Tarzan - did you know you can't join the Royal Canadian Mounted Police unless you're a Collingwood supporter?"

"No I didn't dad."

'And you know when you're wearing a Collingwood jumper you don't even have to go through the metal detector they just wave you through in America - Elvis Presley, he was another one."

"No dad."

"They love Collingwood in India - do you know your Aunt Sally went to India and Collingwood were over there on their end of season - they declared a public holiday. That reminds me Remember when you came to the football with me and they were down by 18 points with three minutes to go… how old were you then?"

"I don't know dad when was it?"

"Collingwood were down by 18 points, remember?"

"No dad."

Surely you must remember when that bloke ran out from the centre and kicked a goal - you know - what's his name?'

'I don't know dad."

'Of course you do, your mother thought he was the best ruckman we ever had. You remember her telling you about it?'

"She left home when I was 4 dad."

"I remember all right Collingwood lost by 4 points, if that… played on the wing , then he caught - couldn't run, he cost us that game - mongrel... They waited too long to get rid of him then they traded him for that other mongrel… he was hopeless, remember when he was about 10 in front and missed everything?"

"No Dad."

Well Chris who drives one of the delivery trucks drinks with him - well he did but he moved but he reckons that all he does all day is drink and practise the shot… there were few like that… the worst of them was that half-forward flanker - ended up completely mad. Pretty hard to understand isn't it son?"

"I suppose so dad."

"Still I suppose there's other things in life… I better fill out the tipping competition- I'm up to 2097 - Collingwood. You know son it's nice to have these little father son chats isn't it son - I just remembered Mother Theresa...Donovan...Steven Hawkins..."

"Yes dad."

"You should have seen it, a great procession of firemen with
flaming torches interspersed with numerous fire appliances
covered in flashing Christmas lights. I can't remember what
brought the fireman here but it was a grand occasion. Back in 1976…when firemen from all over Australia gathered for the Fireman's Competition. The dinner dance that followed…Then in
the early morning Hoyts theatre in Olive Street burnt down."

Hoyts never had the grand ornamentation of the Regent but it did have one particular architectural magnificence. The ticket counter looked like the bow of a ship and the woman selling the tickets used to wear a magnificent ballroom gown on Fridays and Saturdays, although towards the later stages she just wore a dress which disappointed a few."

Borderline has already heard the rumours that the fire had been deliberately lit, although the evidence is a bit thin. If it was burnt down deliberately the arsonist was obviously deeply committed to ironic gestures.

"They picked a good time for it with all these fireman around in no condition to fight a fire. But that wasn't the problem…There were as they say in the trade union movement a number of demarcation disputes," Bob was reminiscing for Borderline.

"I thought fireman were a fraternal lot," I replied thinking of a fireman saving a kitten in a tree.

"It wasn't the local lot,' he whispered enthusiastically. It was all the other firemen from out of town - literally swarming over the place. They were trying to help or give advice and most of them were Bramns and Liszt if you'll excuse the expression - but that's not the point…"

"It's a good enough yarn," I said trying to imagine it.

"That's when… well some of the local firemen…well the boys got a little upset," he said. "You see as the others started to congregate the police had to corral them at a safe distance so that there wouldn't be any life-threatening situations although they never called it that then. Most of them hadn't even been to bed."

"I don't quite follow," I said politely.

"You see one of them started to give a running commentary on the proceedings, and encouraged a number of interjections from the assembled firemen who tried to outdo each other… Well after a while apparently what started out as a bit of harmless entertainment turned into sarcasm - they were just doing their job, like how would you like being a fireman and your every move was greeted with a sarcastic remark, or a jeer…I suppose there was the occasional applause but it was more ironical than anything I suppose, especially when the whole thing caved in and one almighty cheer went up."

"I wouldn't like it one bit," I added sympathetically.

"Still it didn't stop me from wanting to become a fireman - I would have made a good fireman if I hadn't a genetic disposition to heights," he said sadly, "That and an aversion to criticism." Bob's eye started to glaze momentarily.

As Borderline tried to explain that the accusation was not being made against the firemen and that it was ironical that if the place was torched. What U was trying to say was the arsonist had a sense of irony .

"You mean to say the following morning when a hundred or so half pissed firemen attended the scene and tried to give advice to the local brigades trying to extinguish the blaze was ironical…? Besides it was an electrical fault wasn't it - like all the others," said Bob wondering off to do his shopping.

Most Victorians support the Police Association's recent call for a Crime and Corruption Commission to be established in Victoria.

A GPS Research survey on behalf of the Police Association has found that nearly nine in ten Victorians support the call for an independent commission, on learning that "the most powerful anti-corruption watchdog" - the ombudsman and Office of Police Integrity - has no power to investigate elected officials.

The Police Association has accused the Brumby government of having something to hide. "Why else do you stop the only anti-corruption body in the state at the politicians' front door?" asks Police Association Legal manager Sen-Sgt Greg Davies. (Herald Sun April 1 2008)

Take for example the City of Brimbank 20 kilometres North-West of the Melbourne CBD.

A number of governance and probity issues have been raised in this Labor-held stronghold whence it was discovered that no public insitution in Victoria is able to investigate decisions made by elected politicians.

A growing list of questions about Brimbank Council's governance remain unanswered, including:

The role of Crs Zukalski and Suleyman in the Sydenham Community Centre collapse. One councillor was manager, the other chairperson of the council-owned asset. Apart from an apparent conflict of interest, both councillors have connections to MP Justin Madden's office, the minister charged with investigating the failure. The disappearance of $50,000 from the centre was raised in the Vic parliament but never investigated.

How Councillor Suleyman's father, a local ALP branch stacker, had rent-free use of a council building for more than 4 years.

Cr Suleyman's role in Brimbank Council's decision to build a $1 million dollar sporting pavillion for the Albion Rovers Soccer club, while her brother was an office holder of the club.

The dominant faction's secret caucus before public council meetings. This practice is described as corrupt, and one of the reasons given for sacking the Wollongong Council (NSW has an Independent crime commission where this is possible).

The employment of convicted criminal in local MPs Andre Haermeyer and Telmo Languiller's electoral offices. Politicians' connections to corrupt police and underworld drug figures are openly reported in the metropolitan newspapers.

John Brumby is telling Victorians that the OPI is a powerful anti-corruption watchdog but the Ombudsman and OPI are powerless to investigate these questions since they involve elected officials.

Until someone has the independent authority to investigate these kinds of things, there will be growing concern in the community leading to unrest. "You just don't know what's going on. You only know your rates keep going up and there's nothing to show for it."

The accountability of every elected official in Victoria and the secrecy and intrigue, the incompetence and corruption that afflicts Local Government in Victoria can only be redressed by a independent, well resourced organisation such as ICAC in New South Wales.